Game Release: Smack A F•ggot

A true story of gay bashing in Lebanon

The Story

As a closeted teenager, I was sitting with my peers in a community hub where teenagers and young men of my village typically gather. Out of the blue, one of the young men in his late twenties receives a phone call. It was about two adult men having sex in a car on a small hidden road that leads to one of his properties. The road is public property and is practically isolated. Upon hearing this news, he smiled from cheek to cheek.

Seconds after closing the call, he rallied the men in the hub. He screamed, with genuine happiness: “Fi lawat 3am yenteko. Min bado yruh ma3e nedrebun?” [Some f*ggots are ƒ*cking, who wants to go beat them with me?]. Everyone got excited. No less than 4 packed cars and roughly 20 men drove to the “scene”. I stayed with the rest of the men, who were eagerly waiting for updates.

After what was slightly more than half an hour, the “heroes” — our defenders against moral failings–– came back. Proudly, they started telling the story of their achievement. They were so thrilled that they would often talk over each other with comments like “we knocked the sh*t out of them”, “we hit them with sticks from a nearby tree”, “they were screaming naked”, and “we showed them what real men are”.

The comment that struck me most was by a guy slightly older than me, when he said, referring to one of the queer men: “One of these idiots was wearing a condom”. Everyone laughed. “Does he think he can impregnate the other”, someone said mockingly. At this moment, the last of my functional brain cells died.

A Reflection

I really want to know how us, as a humanity, ended up glorifying violence. That day was the first day I felt truly unsafe in my society. Even if you were having sex with an adult consenting partner in the comfort of your home, it wouldn’t have made the slightest difference for these men. I fail to understand that something as horrible as physical violence and hitting people with sticks during their most intimate moments is perceived as a fun activity to do. I wish these men were angry that these people were queer. I wish they were horrified by the idea. I wish it was an anger outburst (which is equally terrifying). No. It was just another lovely day for these men to perpetuate toxic masculinity, bullying culture, and showcase their crowns as kings and kings of cis-heteronormativity.

I will not get started about the lack of sexual education among these men and the idea that condoms are just for contraceptive purposes. I will let you draw your own conclusions.

Despite everything… We love. We survive.